Most people have chandeliers in their homes, but they look like this:
Okay, fine.
No, not fine.
Where’s the feeling that you’re eating in a grand mansion while being served by goblin waiters? Where’s the feeling that an undead nun is lurking under the dinner table looking for more than just table scraps? This chandelier makes you feel like you should be reading Little House on The Prairie while spooning in your cooked peas and edamame.
There’s only one thing that can fix this lighting problem: a gothic chandelier.
A chandelier should look like something that you’ve just used to swing yourself down to the floor after jumping from a balcony. It should also look just as good lighting the dinner table as it does lighting your bookcase full of arcane literature.
A gothic chandelier will solve these problems, make you feel as if you have goblin waiters, and break the monotony of your ceiling’s endless white stucco.
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1. Midnight Prism Chandelier
If you’re going straight for the jugular and want something that aristocratic vampires would hang at their next board meeting, then the Midnight Prism is for you.
Install this one in the ceiling and your houseguests will feel underdressed, insanely jealous, and probably start plotting to steal your chandelier with a dubious plan hatched straight from a 17th century gothic novel.
Right before they get to the part where they lock you in a dungeon and make off with your favorite decoration, you’ll feel proud that they would go to all this trouble simply because they love your darkhouse deco.
2. Shadow Coach Chandelier
This one faintly resembles a horse-drawn coach a la Cinderella’s carriage. Only this time the party doesn’t end at midnight. And Cinderella is probably on her way to fight demons.
If you do have a party with this gothic chandelier lighting the proceedings, your partygoers will indulge in the fact that they get to eat their chips and queso dip under a limelight such as this one.
Bonus points if you made them sign a guestbook with a quill pen at the door.
3. Golden Candelabra Chandelier
If Lumiere was a chandelier and a bit more in touch with his gothic side, he might look something like this. If this piece comes alive and starts singing to you while you’re trying to enjoy a peaceful night, however, refrain from blasting it to shimmering bits with your shotgun.
That would be sad.
The Golden Candelabra looks great above dinner tables, reading desks, and fantasy sword collections, of which I’m sure you have many. The higher up you hang it the better—that way nobody will see how cheesy the fake candles look.
4. Vampire’s Bane Chandelier
I call this one Vampire’s Bane because the middle section looks a bit like a bulb of garlic.
Don’t agree? Call it whatever you want except “Van Helsing’s Tulip” and hang it for everyone to admire. The black glass beads will hang over your houseguests with such gothic elegance, they’ll all think you robbed Carmilla’s jewelry box and draped everything over the top.
With all its finery, every visitor will exit your house seeing through a chandelier darkly.
Quick Check at Bed, Bath, and Beyond
5. Gilded Flame Chandelier
Some gothic chandeliers would look great suspended in midair in the middle of a hallway a la the Haunted Mansion’s floating candelabra. This is one of them. And that’s all.
6. Bleak House Chandelier
If you’ve wondered what Edgar Allan Poe used for light while composing his stories, you may have just found the answer. How else would he have been inspired to write “The Raven” or “The Masque of the Red Death” without a chandelier like this suspended over his head?
When you plan on drafting your own gothic masterpiece, make sure you use this chandelier for light and not some modern-style fixture you found next to the soap dispenser aisle at Target.
And if you’re feeling very word-inspired, be sure to check out a full size version. Add one pet crow and a former lover with a name that rhymes with “Lenore” and your writing desk is open for biz.
7. Light of the Four Dragons Chandelier
No, it’s not the title of an epic Chinese wuxia film—it’s the name of your next lighting fixture.
This chandelier is definitely more of an overt decorative piece. If you have a large table in the basement where you host D&D campaigns, the light from these blessed four will surely lead you to victory.
But maybe you like to exhibit your dragons for all the world to see. After all, people like the Chinese and the Vikings displayed their dragon art like it was on a digital screen in Times Square, so your little firebreathers will look great with a front row seat in the house.
You could even hang it in the bathroom for a truly unique experience. Brushing your teeth never felt so legendary.
8. Hermetic Athenaeum Chandelier
If you plan to have your own opulent library someday, like the Austrian National Library (or the one from Beauty and the Beast), you’ll need plenty of windows, plenty of lighting, and plenty of coffers filled with cash just to pay the electric bill.
On the other hand, you can take a small room that is hidden from the rest of the world (or at least doesn’t have a window in full view of the neighbors), cram it with books, scrolls, esoteric knowledge, and your Buffy the Vampire Slayer box sets, and you’ll need much less lighting.
This is where the Hermetic Athenaeum chandelier comes in. With wooden accents, candle-style light, and artistic metal work, it’ll have you poring over cryptic documents and smoking a pipe before the bulbs ever burn out.
9. Minor Illuminator Chandelier
Looking for something much smaller for a dark corner of the house? This mini chandelier will have your houseguests marveling at your attention to the small details of your home, as well as have them thinking there may be a race of Lilliputian people living in your walls.
Either viewpoint is pretty flattering.
10. Raven’s Shroud Chandelier
Ravens and chandeliers both perch in high places, often share a deep onyx color, and while the birds guard the Tower of London, there’s nothing that says a chandelier isn’t guarding your home.
This piece is very similar to the Golden Candelabra chandelier, with the addition of its jet black color and candle shrouds that cast the light straight downward. That way, you’ll have no problem seeing as you read your copy of In the Company of Crows and Ravens.
The light from the faux candles and the gloom of the shrouds strike a delicate balance. That’s art and home necessity rolled into one, a telltale sign of darkhouse deco.
