Anyone who’s ever caught a glimpse of Dracula’s bathroom is probably no longer living. However, the last thing they saw before accidentally stumbling into the vampire’s powder room was most likely a gothic shower curtain.
Even the undead know that a shower curtain isn’t just a practical tool, but one of the biggest decorative objects in your bathroom. Choosing the right one is crucial, though the task is often ignored…
You’ve probably been to other people’s homes and seen how they hang plain, white curtains in their bathtub? People who hang these types of curtains are most likely the same people who faint at the sight of blood and think the Queen of the Night aria is a type of perfume.
Don’t be the plain white shower curtain human. Be the gothic shower curtain human.
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1. The Blood Lounge Curtain
The blood lounge curtain is basically the Danse Macabre if it was a shower curtain, which Saint-Saëns would most definitely have been proud of.
Its flowery, lace-like design evokes the feeling of being in a grand ballroom, which comes in handy if you have a small bathroom. Just a glimpse is all you need to start swaying like Princess Lily from Legend before you end up knocking your toothbrush into the toilet.
Also, if you find yourself without clothing for a last minute fancy-dress ball, you could (conceivably) take this down and make a pretty great looking costume with it a la Scarlett O’Hara.
Check out the full-red pattern version as well.
2. Beetlejuice-Stripe Curtain
Whether you’re a fan of Beetlejuice or not, you have to give it credit for popularizing the black-and-white-striped design that manifests a decidedly eerie atmosphere simply by existing.
Where better to capture the eerie atmosphere than in your bathroom, with a gothic shower curtain that won’t be morphing into a freaky snake-headed ghost anytime soon (as far as I know.)
The curtain is also the same pattern as Christina Ricci’s Victorian dress from Sleepy Hollow, so if you’re not looking to associate your bathroom with one Tim Burton movie, just go with the other.
3. Moonlight Moat Curtain
There are very few places you can go to bathe in the moat of a moonlit castle. Still, if it’s always been your dream, there are two things you can do.
- Go somewhere like Bodiam Castle and wait for nightfall, then bust out the shampoo.
- Install this shower curtain.
Option 2 might not pack the same emotional punch, but at least it’s in the comfort of your own home and not in the cold nighttime air of England (still might be worth it though).
4. Bat of Diamonds Curtain
This shower curtain looks like something you’d find carved on the wall of an ancient castle’s dungeon during an archeological dig.
Maybe the castle tenants were into the occult, or maybe they just liked bats. Either way, it’s going in your bathroom.
It features bat heads, full size bats, and skeletal bats all vying for your attention. If you’re the kind who’s freaked out having anything with eyes keeping you company in the bathroom, you may want to skip this one.
Otherwise, these little Chiroptera are your new washroom attendants.
5. Spiderweb Curtain
Finding a spider in your tub might send you straight for the bug spray and a double-headed axe, but a spiderweb shower curtain is another story.
As long as there aren’t any actual eight-legged visitors in your bathroom, the intricate web makes for a riveting decoration. While your houseguests ponder whether they’ve just stumbled into Shelob’s lair, you’ll smile with the knowledge that they’ve stumbled into yours.
6. Rose and Thorns Curtain
There’s singing in the shower, then there’s singing Sisters of Mercy and Sirenia songs in the shower. For that, you might need an appropriate shower curtain.
Red roses with black thorns give a decidedly “Beauty and the Beast” angle that will help to feed your singing mood, while also giving your bathroom some duality of character as well. Who doesn’t want a bathroom with a split personality?
7. The Raven Curtain
The Raven is a curtain for those looking for a “plain” black option. No reds, blues, greens, or smiling skulls—just an ornate design in the color of the night.
Also, it’s the color you instantly see when you get soap in your eyes, so it’s symbolic of the bathtub in general.
8. Blood-bead Curtain
This curtain may look a bit more ordinary at first glance, but when paired with your other dark bathroom decor, it takes on a gothic life of its own.
The beads and shimmering quality of the fabric adds a layer of elegance reminiscent of the Phantom of the Opera’s lair, which might make you want to add candelabra and a full-size piano to your bathroom.
If you can pull that off, great! Just don’t smash your bathroom mirror.
Quick Check at Bed, Bath, and Beyond
9. Gothic Library Curtain
Candles, arched-windows, a silvery moon, and an open tome. Most people will think you’re giving them a review of The Castle of Otranto, then the monocle will fall clean out of their surprised eye when you tell them you’re describing your shower curtain.
This one will appeal to those who dream about being surrounded by castle walls, dusty books, and a well-dressed butler who may or may not be undead.
You’d never want to leave, so don’t. Bring it all in the bathroom with you (except the creepy butler).
10. Kraken’s Revenge Curtain
Ships of the past have always lent themselves well to horror fiction and scary tales. Pair that with a giant Cthulhu-like sea monster and maybe it’s not “gothic” in the traditional sense, but it makes a great shower curtain.
Also, I needed an excuse to put it on this list because it looks so cool.
The frayed look in the upper part of the curtain makes it look like an antique illustration you’d find in an occult book shop, while the crows add just a touch more of the macabre. Now, every shower will not only be about personal cleanliness, but a fight for survival.
Bathrooms are interesting places, or at least they can be. If anyone seems bemused by your choice of spiderwebbed curtains or designs of super-sized cuttlefish turning ships into driftwood hanging in the washroom, just tell them it’s your darkhouse deco.
